Claim to Fame: Fastest, hardest-hitting sniper in the NHL; pirate-smiling, malaprop-spouting, internet girlfriend-finding charmer; possible on-ice menace if you believe Colin Campbell
Claim to Fame: Pretty much considered the best tennis player ever to tread the Earth, all while never even breaking into a light sweat or mussing his fabulously glossy hair; rivalry with Rafael Nadal is the only interesting thing about tennis, since he so thoroughly dominates every other player 98% of the time; saddled his twin girls with unfortunately matronly monikers
Roger Federer pisses excellence, not only on the court, but in hotness contests. He takes down America's favorite Russian in a decisive victory.
Claim to Fame: Robot sold to the NHL at an early age, downloaded with the finest skills in hockey; current Stanley Cup holder and Olympic gold medal-winner/hero; SportSquee legend and unofficial father of my dog
Claim to Fame: One-time soccer phenom/pride of England/namesake of charming low-budget girl power movie; currently vagabond footballer/one-half of obscenely famous supercouple/model of junk-defining underpants; devoted daddy with a Minnie Mouse voice and a face created to make you feel bad about yourself.Coasting off an Olympic high and being the namesake of the cutest dog in the universe, Sidney Crosby takes down SportSquee Hall-of-Famer David Beckham.
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