310. The Princess of Montpensier (La princesse de Montpensier)

So, for the first time in what seems light years, Mrs W joined me at the cinema.
We hoped a little sojourn to Derby Quad would take our minds off recent traumas.
And, I guess the Princess of Montpensier achieved in one sense. By the end we weren't talking about family bereavements but how numb our bums were.
Honestly, did it have to go on for two hours and 19 minutes?
Now, I'm like the next red-blooded male. Indeed, like all four of the besotted male characters in the movie, I didn't consider it much of a chore staring at Melanie Thierry for quite a while.
But even her heaving cleavage had outstayed its welcome by the end.
Thierry plays the princess of the film's title. She has been forced into a marriage by her father to the eligible prince (Gregoire Leprince-Ringuet).
He's a fair upstanding chap but her real cup of tea is the more unsuitable Henri De Guise (Gaspard Ulliel).
The movie, which is based in 15th century France during the wars between the Huguenots and the Catholics, is pretty much a tug-of-love between the Prince and Henri.
Added to the mix is a count (Lambert Wilson) who has renounced arms, is given the job of being the princess's teacher and falls for her and the son of the king (Rapahel Personnaz) who also lusts after the pretty lass.
The problem is that while this sounds jolly dramatic, it isn't as thrilling as it might be.
For example, there's a clash of swords between the main love rivals but it is more like handbags at dawn than a duel.
I also blame the score. If ever a film was in need of some tub-thumping Errol Flynn-movie music this was it.
Instead, it all felt a bit limp.
This wasn't helped by the male characters who, far from being tough medieval brutes, are all a bit, dare I say, weedy.
The prince, particularly, is a right girl's blouse (no wonder his missus didn't fancy him), meanwhile, Personnaz is caked in so much make-up, he looks like a transvestite.
It is memorable only for a hilarious wedding night bedroom scene and Wilson's stoic performance but, all told. The Princess of Montpensier deserves a meagre 5/10.